


how she misses getting fucked up and hanging around

by stefonzolesky



Category: Juno (2007)
Genre: F/M, title from flashlight by the front bottoms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 09:44:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13268826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stefonzolesky/pseuds/stefonzolesky
Summary: TL;DR: Juno MacGuff is boring now, and somehow that’s fucking her up a lot more than she ever could have expected.





	how she misses getting fucked up and hanging around

Juno MacGuff doesn’t miss her old life. 

After the shit with Mark, and how -- though she’d never admit it to anyone else -- she still thought about him on a daily basis for at least a few months after everything had blown over, it had all gone uphill. Which is good. Sometimes she still stays out late and downs a few bottles of beer, but she’s proven to be responsible enough that people don’t worry about her quite as much.

She chalks it up to  _ he’s Mark.  _ That’s really all she can say about it. She’s bound to think about him every once in awhile, and she’s bound to regret it, and she’s bound to push those thoughts back with straight vodka. She’s alright, though. She says that enough to convince herself that it’s true.

Bleeker still stops by her house to make sure she’s doing alright, even though it’s been months since she actually needed it. Juno can’t say she doesn’t appreciate it, but she still tells him every day that he doesn’t have to. She’s starting to suspect that, maybe, he just wants to see her. And she’s not complaining -- she wants to see him just as much.

“You’re thinking about him again,” Paulie knocks her out of thought. He’s sat at the end of her bed, fiddling with a guitar. “You know you need to quit doing that.”

Juno rolls her eyes. “I wasn’t thinking about him,” She protests, except she was doing just that. “He’s a fucking creep, Bleeker. And you’re my boyfriend.”

“Yeah, but you still think about him.” Paulie puts the guitar down. “I get it. It’d be hard not to think about him. And I’m not jealous or anything, ‘cause he’s a sicko, so you don’t have to act like you’re not thinking about him.”

Juno sighs harder than she thought she could. “It’s not like I  _ want _ to think about him, either. It just happens, and I want him out of my fucking head.” She slides down so she’s sitting next to Bleeker. “It sucks. He almost had me.”

“But you’ve got morals,” Paulie tells her. “So he didn’t. Not really, at least. He could have gotten to you, if you weren’t so strong, but you--”

“Cut the bullshit, Bleek.” Juno rolls her eyes. “He almost had me, but he didn’t get there, and that’s that. It was weird, a-and it was  _ so fucked, _ and it happened. It happened, and it’s over. So I shouldn’t think about him anymore. I shouldn’t think about any of that anymore.”

“But you do,” Paulie points out. “You do think about it. I’d think about it, if I were you. It’s gotta be hard not to.” He pulls on a guitar string and the noise rings in Juno’s ears. “I’d be surprised if you could forget something like that.”

Juno shuts her eyes. “I don’t wanna talk about it, Bleeker. I really don’t.”

Bleeker nods and brings his knees to his chest. “Alright, alright. What  _ do _ you wanna talk about, then?”

 

The thing is, Juno never really knows. She just wants to talk, but there’s never anything happening. Ever since everything blew over, it’s like nothing interesting happens anymore -- at least not in comparison. There’s no weird rush of her dealing with things that she shouldn’t have dealt with, and it’s not like she isn’t glad, but everything seems so  _ bland _ now.

It’s ridiculous of her to wish for things to be interesting again, she can admit that much. But she can’t really help it.

Of course, she doesn’t tell Bleeker any of this.

“I don’t know,” She finally says. She thinks that Paulie doesn’t know either. “Sorry.”

Paulie’s eyebrows shoot together. “What? Why are you sorry?” He sits up a little straighter. “It’s not like you did anything wrong.” He hesitates. “Just now, I mean.”

“I mean, in general,” Juno clarifies. “I’m sorry I’m such a wreck.”

Bleeker stays true to his form, and doesn’t argue on that. There’s nothing to argue. “Don’t worry about it. I, uh. I love you anyways. You know.”

A smile tugs at the corners of Juno’s lips. “Thanks.” She hesitates. “Love you too.”

Paulie smiles weakly, moving back to pluck a few strings on the guitar. “Besides. It doesn’t really matter to me. I mean, everyone can be a wreck. And you went through a lot of shit. I don’t blame you.”

Juno just nods. There isn’t anything else for her to say. There never is.

 

She finds herself saying the word ‘never’ a lot more now. She’s cautious. She’s never been cautious. It’s weird. It’s not like her, but she supposes it’s for the better. After all, now she knows where being reckless gets her. Nowhere good, to say the least.

TL;DR: Juno MacGuff is boring now, and somehow that’s fucking her up a lot more than she ever could have expected.

She sighs and reaches under her bed for the water bottle full of wine that she keeps, just for emergencies, and takes a swig. Bleeker looks at her weird, so she offers him some too.

He pushes the bottle away with a sigh. “Put that shit up, Juno.”

“I’m alright,” She tells him. “I promise you.”

“Juno,” Paulie warns. “Put it up. You know how you get when you’re drunk.”

Juno rolls her eyes and takes another sip of the wine and then puts it up. “Fine,” She caves. “I didn’t even drink enough to get drunk. It’s wine, Bleek.”

“Whatever,” Bleeker tells her. “I’m just trying to keep you safe. As your boyfriend, I feel like that’s my responsibility.”

“As your girlfriend, I am not your responsibility,” Juno reminds him. “I’m a perfectly capable person.”

All Paulie does is point at where she stashed the wine. “Are you?”

“I am, thank you very much.” She scoffs. “I can promise you that much.”

Paulie nods a little, and Juno recognizes that it’s probably just because he isn’t up for arguing with her, but she takes her win and leaves it at that.

 

Sometimes, Juno regrets the things she says. She never goes back on her words, but she definitely regrets them. Especially when they make people worry about her, because she never likes for people to worry about her. It isn’t their job.

She pauses. Takes a look around her, and readjusts her mind. She has a good place in the world, she has a nice boyfriend who cares about her, and she thinks that after time, she’ll be alright. It just takes a little bit. That’s all.


End file.
